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Mume bwege

#Mume_bwege Doc works in Mombasa and comes home rarely,mostly after six months. His wife stays at home, 700 km away from him. The guy is blessed with ten children, nine boys and a girl. At one time it was rumored that his son, Apala resembles his best friend in the village,Akola.The rumour mills were so hot that he had to quell them by impregnating his wife when the boy was barely three years. That's the time he got the baby girl, Adulo,his copyright in every aspect. On this particular day however, he arrived home rather sick and weary, after a one year absence from his family. His wife, Adese, welcomed him with open arms and legs, funny enough the guy never noticed the legs. That was the longest night ever for the duo. They say, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. The following day being a Sunday was a busy day for Adese, what with church things, chamaas etc. She woke up earlier than usual,did the normal chores and hurried to "church" leaving the house by 7am...
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Choices

#Choices Once upon a time there lived a gentleman by the name Achapa, a vertinary doctor based in Tanzania.At his nascency, the guy got married to a beautiful wife from the humble Kipsigis community.Needless to say,they were blessed with two kids;a handsome boy and a beautiful girl.Simply put,it was a happy family. In my community, we do have a saying "Satan odagi mor" literally translated into "the devil has refused happiness". As fate would have it,the guy was transferred to Ghana,he had no option but to go.The dutiful wife returned to his rural home taking care of the fruits of their Union,dutifully so.She never had a chance of visiting him in Ghana.They kept on communicating from time to time Once every three months the guy would come to " kelo Chumbi"(bring salt)=for those who know! Many are the times that the lady implored upon his husband to seek transfer to a nearby country bit he kept on assuring her that he would put in for it of which he n...
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One thing

#One_thing One thing is for sure, I value friendship. One thing is certain, I'm patient. One thing is in no doubt, I can sacrifice for friends. One thing cannot be contested, I'm always sure of my actions. One thing is not debatable, I'm lovely company! One thing is incomprehensible, I am jolly even when jolliness shouldn't apply. One thing cannot be taken for granted, I love intelligent folks. One thing I am aware of is that I do not like those who despise others. One thing you can take to the bank, I am a fool but there are fools above me. One thing I am aware of, I am a respecter of other people's choices. One thing I'm passionate about is unconditional love. One thing I can take to the bank and cash easily, is that I never massage bloated egos. One thing I will hold on to is honesty;whenever,wherever. One thing I can do offhand is coming up with an impromptu speech. One thing I can never die for is pretence. One thing I do often is reading-m...
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My wife is on Facebook

My wife is on Facebook; I'm her number one fan, She watches as I type Line after line In anticipation Once in a while, she helps In editing the pieces! She's the force behind " Onyos " She smiles after reading "Haki was ni mfunny sweetie!" Sometimes when I'm offnet for long She asks, "Kwani umewacha Fb?" "Hebu tuchekeshe kidogo!" "Watu wanakumis haki" I laugh at her! My wife knows her place Never nags during the day, night, any time! As comments flood my wall She calls to ask, "umeona comments?" I say "Sina bundles" My wife knows my joke mates They are friends; they meet often Others are in the diaspora They are her best of the best She trusts me a lot! My wife knows that I'm human as well I get temptations just like she does She knows the way into a man's heart She also knows the way into my hut! In the heat of the moment..... My wife is a tigress, an FBI of s...
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Happily married

 "Jesus!" Onyos exclaimed. What was happening to him really? He quickly put on his clothes and bolted out of the room like a flash of lightning. His heart was beating furiously. "When did this lady come to the house?" He couldn't answer this. Truth be said she was way beautiful than Dumbamba. But why her at this time of the night in his bedroom? He couldn't tell. Onyos was such a disciplined gentleman especially after he left his wayward ways and married this terrorist in the name of a wife. Why had the gods conspired to ruin his life? At the same time the devil was speaking to him "Go back to the bedroom.... a man has got to be a man" etc, but he didn't need to this voice. He was way too afraid to do that( whatever it was!) Walking stealthily, he went to the bedroom door, stood there for two or so minutes, peeped once he did, and what did he see? The lady was carelessly lying in bed, stark naked, bedsheets hanging loosely by the beds...
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Flashback

Flashback Robinson Murira was my best friend in Form One B just before I left for a Machakos school. Those days we had no mobile phones yet we would meet at the bus stop at the same time,5:15AM just in time to board the first Stagecoach-Kenya Bus. This was our seventh wonder of the world none of us had a watch as well, but the Mwadhini msikitini Allahu Akbar would come in handy! Bathing was a luxury, needless to say, we had dry water taps! We enjoyed this routine all the same. Armed with our Bus Pass we would pay sh.7 to school, a distance of 25km-Coins had value by then! The conductor, clad in 'surupwenye' would roll out the receipts for the two of us. 'Kochuka bwana tuweke hizi risiti,'Murira would insist. Many are the days I would lose my receipts or forget them inside my Mathematics book that Apondi would always sneak with to their Kahawa home. (Reuben Ouma was the other Maths guru) We rarely traveled back to the estate together. On this particular day, h...
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Night runners

#Witchcrafts_Nightrunners Loading .... In many villages these people do exist.While growing up,I had a one on one encounter with one... Stories abound of this category of kenyans with id.That if you marry a nightrunner you must join them in the trade. In my village night runners are well known,they appear in different shades and shapes.People fear them(I don't)Funny enough they are so composed and organized in their lives. I hear it's called "juogi"that 'idho' them to go gallivanting at night,sometimes naked,despite the cold. Others will perform theatrics in the wee hours of the night,chasing unimaginary things for nothing, causing havok,raising people's temperatures and adrenaline for no reason at all.For your information these people don't break bones at all. They derive pleasure when you 'suffer' they cackle, giggle and make funny sounds,they soliloquy once in a while, makes faces and go grrrh!!! In Kisii and its environs I h...
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