Skip to main content

My wife is on Facebook

My wife is on Facebook;
I'm her number one fan,
She watches as I type
Line after line
In anticipation
Once in a while, she helps
In editing the pieces!
She's the force behind "Onyos"
She smiles after reading
"Haki was ni mfunny sweetie!"
Sometimes when I'm offnet for long
She asks, "Kwani umewacha Fb?"
"Hebu tuchekeshe kidogo!"
"Watu wanakumis haki"
I laugh at her!
My wife knows her place
Never nags during the day, night, any time!
As comments flood my wall
She calls to ask, "umeona comments?"
I say "Sina bundles"
My wife knows my joke mates
They are friends; they meet often
Others are in the diaspora
They are her best of the best
She trusts me a lot!
My wife knows that I'm human as well
I get temptations just like she does
She knows the way into a man's heart
She also knows the way into my hut!
In the heat of the moment.....
My wife is a tigress, an FBI of sorts
I've worked under her with a lot of trust
For ages! She introduced me to the CIA!
She's a top sleuth, knows all about FK
She gives me space to be a man.
My wife is on Facebook, she knows Zuckerberg
She likes my posts not, she comments not!
A smooth operator just like me!
She hates drama, loves peace and silence
She loves our daughter more than anything else!
My wife never posts her photos on Facebook
Even that of our lovely little angel
She follows everything online
She never touches my phone
Even if it's my mother in law calling.
My wife is a sweet Facebook terrorist
She knows my admirers, all of them
She loves them a lot, I wonder why!
Always has nice words to say about them
She is always incognito!
I know she will scold me for posting this video
She bought that motorbike, I use it.
She isn't a fan of riding so I ride her mostly
But how she takes long to board the "mat!"
My wife oh, oh my wife oh!
This is the wife I desire! Problem is, my medical bag is torn just like in Jonathan Kariara's "A leopard lives in a Muu tree"
But then I only remember these things when I'm linguistically tipsy!

https://www.facebook.com/felix.kochuka/videos/2453484978000491/?t=30


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Wagogni

#Wagogni Among the Acholi, a lady who is already married is referred to as "migogo"(singular),plural "wagogni" Now, Migogo  is a very important establishment, if not institution. The state of being married or "kend",say "keny".is highly revered.Migogo is also referred to as "ogwang" I must add that a stray/wild cat also goes by this name. See! It is believed that an in unmarried nubile lady brings bad omen to those dwelling in the compound. As such, when such a lady changes geography, Amadioha forbid, they are buried at the far end of the fence from outside. It is believed that they prevent those little girls not yet married from being married and getting children. (some beliefs though!) Now, a migogo is respected as well. Especially when "or" as son in-law is referred to as forms the key interplay. That's to say if she is married! I still don't understand this obsession with marriage. Isn't one free to dec...
Post a Comment
Read more

Fools paradise

#Fools_paradise I am yet to meet a sleeping beauty like my Geography teacher.She had a rare 'ambience',a distinct perfume,clean to no default and with admirable mien,it is a pity she wasn't my class teacher(another day,another story about my classteacher.)-despite all these,my teacher of English remained a favourite to all boys(May he RIP). Now,a 'new' teacher was 'posted' to our school-I can't even remember her name-what I am sure of is that she was barely 24 years!(stop having ideas,see!) Keen to outdo our Geography teacher,she overdid it!(I will spare you the details).Naturally,as boys will be boys,a few of us(count me out-I was the tiniest in class after Kaloki Ndeti),used to tease her!And how we relished in the dramatic irony! Now,those days the captain used to handle all the letters after teachers had picked theirs.One Monday morning he gets a post card titled 'Fools Paradise' addressed to this new teacher by her boyfriend with whom...
Post a Comment
Read more

Vigil

#Vigil In my village, just like in many African villages, when one changes geography, there's usually what we call "arita" night vigil. It's a period where the people keep the dead company the whole night before they are "swallowed by the earth" the following day. Several activities accompany this nocturnal ceremony and tradition, deeply embedded in most cultures. The preparations are made in advance. One thing that you won't find missing is a bonfire where "jodongo"(Old men), clad in their "kabut"(a blanket of a jacket), warm themselves. They spend time reminiscing about the good deeds of the late. One would be heard saying "An Nick ne miya ga  pesa machwako nyoyo, diere moko ne wadhi sero kode Seme Konywera kocha, gima ne waneno bor korie"(Nick used to give me money that can boil 'githeri', at one time we went on a seduction spree in Seme Kolunje, what we saw is long when straightened 😂 😂 😂) Granted, mos...
Post a Comment
Read more