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Open letter to my co-wife

An open letter to a Co-wife

Dear co wife, why I should call you dear beats logic. Let me say, hello DL! I hope by now that old man you are cuddling has chewed the government groundnuts.Make sure he does for I have done that dutifully for thirteen years now.

I must admit that I admire your courage and zeal in committing suicide. By the way I had packed for him three jualas,they are safely tucked in his breast pocket, I'm sure he doesn't even know! Make use of them if you still value your life. In fact I'm sure he'll persuade you not to use them but INSIST. by the way he will use only one, if not half! You see he belongs to the Vaseline battalion as well, in case you didn't know now you do. Take care of your posterior protrusion lest he hacks it!

Oh did I not tell you that he belongs to team "Churu churu bwaa?".Do not be shocked if he falls midstream and doesn't reach "Batian".In case you wake up in the middle of the night and doesn't see him in bed, worry not! He disappears once in a while, mark you he lived in Mombasa one time! Just don't switch on the lights! When he comes back do not act surprised,sleep the more!

This husband of ours(forgive my Language), bathes once in a week. Do not bombard him with cold water, he will faint and I also don't want to lose him much as I want him dead like yesterday! In case you have nubile daughters, do not leave them alone with this monster, he will do the unnecessary to them! (by the way must I say it?) By now you should have known!

Our husband has another "husband" you will see him with "her" very soon, that is if you haven't seen "her" already! (I bet you know "her" that lanky thin guy with lordosis! He's a walking corpse! Do not dare question  their relationship if you want to survive."She" is the source of his wealth!

By the way he has a pistol in his brief case. The codes that open the briefcase are R561,L871.Just do me a favour, kill him before he kills you. That's why he is there for the last time:To make you a grave statistic!

Don't say I didn't warn you! (but where will you be to say all these?) Act before it is too late.

Your in Zidovudine Empire

Achupa!

Comments

  1. UnknownMay 28, 2019 at 10:34 AM

    So Achupa is trying to scare the new wife 😊😊😊😊

    ReplyDelete

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